Monday, September 13, 2010

Bridget's Shower and Wedding Planning

Last Friday, I drove to KC for my friend Bridget's bridal shower. I was rushing to get there so I could see her for her final fitting of the dress, which I barely made in time...go figure. That evening we got ready and went to eat at Manny's, which is a Mexican restaurant in downtown KC. It has been around for 30 years, yet I lived in KC during chiropractic school and never had heard of it. Regardless, it was really good. We then went to the power and light district. One drink in and Bridget and I are ready to head back to the hotel. This is the same Bridget, where 2 years ago we met for a weekend of fun and couldn't remember our hotel room number:) Oh how I wish I would have gotten that on camera, trying our key in all the rooms we thought might be our's!:) We woke up Saturday and headed to her first bridal shower. It was a great time. She received a ton of great gifts. There was one that stood out the most, a KU apron! Lucky girl! It started at 10:30am. Well guess what started at 11?? You guessed it, the KU v. Georgia Tech game. So needless to say I had to check the score. I also kept Bridget and Mary Kate up to speed as we all graduated from KU. Keep in mind, I was not expecting much from my team that dropped the ball against North Dakota State the week before...yes, there is a North Dakota State and even crazier, they have a football team. How many points did we score on week one? 3. Three. Tres. And that is not touchdowns, that is total points. Final score: KU 3 NDSU 6. Since the game was not televised, the optimistic me was thinking, damn our defense must be unbelievable... and so was their's. Then I remembered, we haven't won a football game since last Oct. 9 2009! Well week 2 was a different story, we beat the #15 team in the country!!! I can't belive it either. I'm now thinking we had 2 fluke games in a row and we are somewhere in the middle of being terrible or really freaking good. If you know me, you know the attachment I have to KU. Some might call it an obsession. I truly feel a connection with the players and when they graduate, it takes me a little time to get acclimated with the new players. Last year, we lost one of my all time favs, Todd Reesing, or "my little sparky" as I like to call him. It's ok...Alan is totally accepting of this pet name:) Did I mention I LOVE football season? And don't get me started on basketball. Alan is a huge OSU fan, so he went to the game this past weekend. All will be good until KU and OSU meet up on November 20. OSU did win their game as well, but not without a little excitement. Last night we went to dinner and were talking sports. He is like, "yeah, all you KU fans are getting your hopes up because you had a big win." I then said, "well, yeah but OSU is the only school I know that lines up in the victory formation and fumbles:)" November 20, 2010, mark it down on the calendar! A true house divided!

Wedding planning is going. We are patiently waiting for confirmation that the site we have chosen will be reserved for us...fingers crossed. I will let you know as soon as we know. Then the real planning can start and we are super excited. Finding a resort has been a task. First, we used Destinationweddings.com. FLOP. (Alan's idea btw, hehe.) Now we are using Gina Ho, who was Alan's cousins, Justin and Shelly, recommendation. She has a lot of experience planning destination weddings. She actually told me that she has NEVER had this much trouble with finding a resort that is available on the day we want. I guess we picked a popular weekend. Either way, we are confindent it will all work out the way it should. My Mom keeps reminding me, "Things happen for a reason." That doesn't mean I can't throw a fit along the way though:)
Another task is the guest list. Here lies the problem, we know a lot of people and we have a lot of people that we are close to, but it is not feasible to invite everyone to a destination wedding. We are planning on having a reception when we return, but it is still difficult. Last Sunday, Alan and I were going over the invite list once again...and we came across my Aunt's name. I started crying then, as I am now as I type. He asked me if I wanted to take her name off the list. As crazy as it sounds, I told him no. It's so hard because I know that she and my cousin would have been the only 2 that would come to the wedding from my Mom's side. My Mom said she has her "moments" and I guess I do too. I know we probably all will for awhile. While I'm on the subject of her, I thought of something I left out in a previous post. Back in 2004, when we lost my 2 uncles and Grandpa, (Mom's side)I was able to write poems for the funerals. It's something my Dad and I do, write poems. I have also written for my Grandma (Dad's side) and Grandpa (Dad's side.) The words and thoughts came so easily. For some reason, I was unable to write after Aunt 'Net passed. I still don't know why. It was frustrating. I tried on a couple occasions the week of her funeral and I had "writer's block." I think I have used this blog as a way to "write" as a tribute to her and express my feelings. Several weeks before she passed, my Mom, Tara, Aunt and I were all sitting on my Aunt's bed and telling stories. We laughed so much, so much so that my aunt said to stop making her laugh because it would make her stomach hurt. Great memory:) Miss her dearly.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

More Catching up

Something I didn't emphasize enough in that last post is how wonderful Alan was throughout all of this, especially when another crisis happened during the last month. I will explain in this post. I honestly don't know what I would have done without his support. He was there any time I needed him. He knew when to say the right things or when to just let silence take over. I am so thankful for him and the support he shows me day in and day out. I am one blessed girl to be marrying this man and also into this family. His Mom and Sister came to the funeral, which was so thoughtful and greatly appreciated, espcically after what all they were dealing with. We received cards from other family members, also greatly appreciated, so a sincer thank you to all of you.
A few weeks ago on a Monday, Alan had gone to Medford for the day and then drove to Wichita for his monthly work trip. I got a call from him that night saying Jake, his brother, was pitching in a softball game and took a line drive to the face. All we knew was he had a broken nose. We soon found out it was much more serious than a broken nose and we both were on our way to OKC to the OU Medical Trauma Center. Basically, the ambulance had taken him to the Edmond hospital. Due to the nature of his injuries, they were preparing to transport him to OU med, but in the process he began having a seizure and his breathing stopped. Needless to say, they had to intubate him. Once he was stabalized, he was transported. He was in the ICU for the next 4 days. This was a scary time for everyone as we did not know how severe the brain damage was since they had medically induced a coma. He did have a broken nose, actually more of a crushed nose, plus he also had fractured his skull in 2 places, a fractured orbital bone on the left and a subdural hematoma. He would require a major facial reconstructive surgery, which was performed 8 days after the injury. He was in surgery for 7 hours. He was in the hospital another week after the surgery. As of now, he is on the road to recovery but he is still having some vision problems. We hope it will correct itself, but only time will tell. He gets his nose tubes out next week. His family was amazing throughout this time as it was scary with a lot of unknowns. We were all worried about him but are so thankful that he has come as far as he has. Jake has been so strong throughout all of this. We look forward to the day he is healed and all of the prayers have been answered. We love you Jake!

Catching up

Well, Alan was right...I'm not the blogging type. But after a "rough" last couple of months, I am at it again. Where do I start?... June 21 was the day Alan and I were going to start the wedding planning as it was a month after the proposal. Our "Destination Weddings for Dummies" book was on its way and we were ready. I was at work on June 22 when I got a call from my Mom sounding frantic. She asked me if an ultrasound showed "spots" on the liver, does it always mean it is cancer? My Aunt Net was in the ER with severe pain and they found spots on her liver. For those who don't know, Janette, is my Mom's older sister. Well, later that day we received the news we were all dreading. It was cancer. From what they could tell it was definitely in her liver and had destroyed her 4th rib. I remember walking into her hospital room and as I was giving her a hug, all she could say was "bummer." Devastating news to say the least. She spent a few days in the hospital undergoing a series of tests to determine where it started. She was released with the diagnosis of Stage IV Adenocarcinoma with an unknown origin. For those that don't know, cancer is staged and there are only 4 stages, so we knew there was a huge battle ahead and we were ready to start the fight with her. On June 30, she started treatment at Cancer Treatment Centers of America. Since they did not know where the cancer started, they had to run their tests to see if they could figure out the origin. Fast forward a month and we still don't know, but regardless they are going to start radiation as a tumor had grown on her spine. She had 3 radiation treatments. I am leaving out a lot of details, but what was decided was she would take a natural approach to treatment from there on out, as it was not believed her body could withstand the conventional chemotherapy. While all of these tests were being run, she was declining and fast. August 24, 2010, my Aunt 'Net earned her angel wings. As I type this, a part of me is still in denial. Since her death, I have tried focusing on anything but as to not have to face the reality of it. There were so many nights that I cried myself to sleep with Alan holding me as my heart ached for what she was having to go through. I cried so much that it's like I became somewhat numb after she passed. The last 6 days of her life were very trying. I spent as much time with her as I could. We all did. Her daughter, Tara, did not leave her side. There were sleepless nights, but I learned that it was the mental exhaustion that was the hardest. Nothing compares to what she was going through. During these last 6 days, I talked to her a lot. She would ask if everything was going to be OK? I kept assuring her it was. One of those nights, I was sitting by her bedside holding her hand while my Mom was getting ready for bed and Tara and Darlene (her best friend) were outside. I was trying to ease her mind as nights were the hardest on her. I asked her if she could keep a secret and of course she said yes. I'm honestly not sure if she did or not as she almost ruined the surprise for my Mom's 60th bday:) I'm not going to reveal what I told her (yet) but I am glad she knew before she passed. My aunt was one of my first patients at my office. She helped grow my business more than she knows. I thanked her and I'm so glad I did. She asked for an adjustment 2 days before her passing. The cancer was in her bones, so I put my fingers on her neck when she was sitting up and held them there for a few seconds to give her one last adjustment. She said, "did you hear all those pops?:) I didn't but the "pops" always fascinated her:) There were many intimate moments that we all shared with her as her body was failing, some too personal to share. She suffered. A lot. And it breaks my heart she had to go through it. It also makes me mad. From the day of her diagnosis, I prayed for peace and comfort for her. My prayers were ultimately answered when God took her. As much as I wanted her to prove medicine wrong and beat the odds, I knew it was going to take a miracle from God to overcome this disease. There are a lot of things in life that are not fair, and cancer is way up on that list. If you have never seen a loved one go through a fight against cancer, I pray you never have to as you would not wish it upon your worst enemy. I am so proud of the fight she put up as she showed such strength and courage throughout the entire process. So to you Aunt Net, I miss you, more than words can say. I have so many memories that I will forever cherish. You taught Josh and I when we were kids how to say "butt" in Creek when you stayed with us while my parents were in Vegas...we thought it was so cool:) I will miss your deviled eggs. Your's were the best and you didn't disagree!:) Your gravy wasn't bad either! Christmas is going to be particularly hard. Thank you for loving Alan, or "Peyton Manning" as you liked to call him...he loved you too. I wish you could see us get married. Thank you for loving Baby Jay. As you know, she is not a fan of many people but she loved when you came over and she loved visiting you. I guess she liked your stomp dancing:) Thank you for being such a good sister to my Mom and Ralph. I know their hearts ache without the 3of you still here. I admire your love for our Indian heritage. You were such a beautiful person, inside and out. I would have done anything to have fixed you and taken away your pain. We all would have. You were nothing short of amazing as you fought this disease. At your burial, Pastor Jimmie said in the Creek language, there is not a word for goodbye, just a phrase for "until we meet again,"...so until we meet again Aunt Net. I love you.